we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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