if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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