evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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