He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
