farters have to be the big spoon...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
