I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
