So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
