i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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