I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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