Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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