I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize