i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
