Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
