all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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