Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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