We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
