don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
