there's paper in my vomit.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
