I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
