My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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