just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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