And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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