you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize