i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
