id be glad to
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
