your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
