FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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