So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
That reminds me...we need to get swords
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Mom said you looked used
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize