i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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