so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
