youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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