6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
