i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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