Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Found the puke drawer
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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