Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
