Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
