I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
