i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
