I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize