Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
