Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
