so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
