We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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