Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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