I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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