woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
