fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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