I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
