I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
