its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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