You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
