he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
