she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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