Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize