Can i not drive my cunt home
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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