I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
