I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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