Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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