Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
