Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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