I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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