I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
